Monday 21 November 2011

5 weeks, 6 days - November 21st 2011

I'm starting to feel ropey. Ropey and panicked and worried.

I know the HG monster is there waiting for me, lurking just around the corner, waiting to pounce and bring me down with him. I've just got to keep on walking through this corridor as calmly as I can, believing that when he does attack I will be ready for him. I can feel his presence, smell his smell - I know I'm about to do battle soon.

The daunting unknown of when and where he is going to strike is terrifying.

I have to keep eating, I'm constantly shaking and my stomach feels in turmoil. I don't want food, I have no appetite, but I know if I eat I do feel better, for the moment at least.

Today Martin has gone away to work. He will be away every week now, back at weekends for the next 4 weeks. I feel for him as it is hard enough for him having to leave behind his wife and beautiful daughter, but even harder knowing that potentially I could be very poorly and he can't be here to help. At least I have my wonderful mum who is such strength and support to me. I can leave Gracie with her knowing that she is in safe loving hands and Gracie loves being with Granny, so much so that on the days we don't see her she asks to see her. I am lucky that I am very loved and supported by my Mum and Husband and together all of us will take each day as it comes and deal with what we are thrown.

1 comment:

  1. I too suffer with HG, both of my pregnancys were severe starting at 5 weeks and lasting right up to delivery , it can really effect your menta health if you haven't got that strong love and support surrounding you.
    My best advice which I found helped me is to take odonsatron every 8 hours and eat little and often.
    Biscuits,cereal ,toast and very plain foods to not trigger the sickness.
    Stay strong xx

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